Where's My Wonderland

What happened to my Wonderland?

Did it come crumbling down?

What happened to my happiness?

Did I start to drown?

What happened to my Wonderland?

Has reality hit me?

All this pain

is it real or all in my head?

Always so sad and broken

I tried to leave what's real behind

But as I fell deeper and deeper

into my mind

 I became harder to find

I've found my Wonderland

And I've left you all behind

All you see is a Cheshire smile

and the shell of a Mad Hatter

This poem is actually inspired by a song called Where's My Wonderland? by Blood on the Dance Floor. I decided to twist the song to what I thought it was about.

To The Music Man I've Never Met

Music man I've never met

You make me feel so alive

and I've never seen your face

One can only bet

how hard it is to strive

on very little in this place

They taunt me because I'm a freak

They point and laugh and whisper about me

Your music is the only thing that helps me through

Your music makes their words weak

You make me feel so free

So I guess this is thank you

Of all the things I could never say

those lyrics help me to speak

They and you help me to see there's a better way

Even if I am just a freak

This poem is for many musicians that I listen to. I've actually decided to send it to two in particular because they're my heroes. Unfortunately, I don't know if they'll get it.

Far Away/Escape

I've always been able to

lose myself in a good story

It was mostly to escape

I've always known that

Sometimes the characters

are all I have

That's why my imagination

runs so wild

I've been to places

you'd never dream of going

Places that don't exist

in real life

I can use these places

as escapes

when reality

treats me rough

They can make me forget

what I am and who I am

But only for awhile

Where's My Saviour?

Who will save

me from myself?

Will that person

find me before it's

too late?

Am I to find my

own solution?

Am I to be left

alone in my pain?

Are these demons

going to drag me

with them?

Will the dragon

keep me?

Is there a

knight in shining armour?

Will he save me

from everything

that has kept me pained?

Or will I drown in 

my sorrows?

Here's To The Kids

Here's to the kids

who sit alone on

a Friday or Saturday

night

Here's to the kids 

whose dreams

have been shot down

because it's not what

others want for them

Here's to the kids

who get by with

very little because

their family can't

afford much

Here's to the kids

who lost themselves

in music and not

drugs

Here's to the kids

who are always

in pain but keep

a smile

Here's to the kids

who are broken

and alone

Here's to the kids

who have foun

escape in other

things

 

Here's to the kids

who self-harm

 

Here's to the kids

who stay strong

in the worst times

 

Here's to you

the kids of

yesterday

What Happened?

I feel you slipping away

We never talk

I feel so alone without you

I wish I could

help you to understand

this

I understand

we're just friends

But right now

I don't know if

we're even that

I've only known you

but a short while

But I felt close to you

Now

I feel like we're

complete stangers

I don't want us

to be like this

I don't want

to lose your friendship

But maybe

I deserve to

Russian Roulette

I've got a gun to my head

I've considered this many times

I have no body now

Not even my family

What if I played

Russian roulette

by my self?

What are the chances 

that someone will hear

the gunshot?

What if I pulled the trigger?

Would my brains splatter

against the wall?

Or would nothing happen?

I guess the odds are

stacked against me

Or maybe for me

My family would greet me

at the "gates,"

right?

Or maybe I'll go to Hell

for what I've done

All the horror I've made

All the pain I've caused

Just so everyone knows, I was quite upset the day I wrote this. I wasn't contemplating suicide. Not at that moment, anyway. I'd actually been listening to Death to Your Heart by Blood on the Dance Floor and felt the need to write a poem with the first line of the song. So, no, not suicide. Just music.

You're Everything I Can't Have

I love you

You know I do

I know we should just be friends

I should learn to accept that

But I can't

You mean the world to me

You are

the only person

I actually care about

Outside my family

of course

The days I wish

I could be her

are the days I wish

I didn't exist

or I'd never met you

But then again

it doesn't matter

Does it?

I'm a no body

and you're practically a star

You're everything

I wish I could have

and what I want to be

Yin or Yang

Some people see

me as an angel

I believe

I'm more like a demon

I'm an annoyance

in my own head

I hate what I've become

A Hellish fiend

Servant and slave

for all that's evil

There are days where

I wonder what it is

that brought me

to become such a

pernicious person

But then again

according to most people

I'm a sweet person

Kind

As if I were from heaven

 

The question is

am I a demon

from the pits of Hell?

Or am I an angel

from the heavens above?

Pariah

What a shame

She's so broken

From all the loneliness

Within her heart

It's such a shame

No one knows her

She's such a sweet girl

But yet so solitary

How does she keep a smile?

Why does she look so happy?

She has no one near her

Maybe that's the way she likes it

It's a pity

Such a wonderful girl

Never loved

Always abused

Outcasted

It's such a shame

The everyone

judges a life they can't change