Lost and Alone

I sit here as I begin to think

I wonder if anybody else

Feels like me

I have never thought

That it could ever be this bad

I feel so lost

How is it that

Everyone I see

Is always smiling

Or having a good time

They always have someone

To be there for them

I feel so alone

Why can't I

Be like everybody else

I don't mean

Preppy and snobby

I mean happy

And able to smile without a care

But no

I'm always on my own

Hardly ever smiling

Or always fake laughing

I always feel

So automatic

No matter what

Rockstar Dreams

You know me

and realize

what I can be

You know

I can be more

than what I am

Do you realize

what I truly

am inside

Could you

make my

dreams

come true

Can you

be the one to get

me through

the nights

You can

break my heart

and fix my soul

Just be with me all the way

You can fill me up

with whatever emptiness

you have

I really don't care

how we get there

Just as long

as we can get there

We are two souls colliding

and we are crashing

through the night

Tonight

All of your blessed

kisses

Are they mine tonight

All of my foreign wishes

are fading

with your every move

I can almost

see the light

Never let go

of me

You are the one

that helps

it all come alive

Just promise me

you'll be here

No matter what

Not Made To Be Alone

I know somewhere

Out there

There is someone

Who loves me

I don't know who

They are

Or where they may be

All I know is that

They are searching for me

Just as I am searching for them

Wherever he or she is

I know

They will find me

All I know is that

I don't want to live my life alone

Forever

As a great man once said

We are all human beings

And we're not made to be alone

I believe

That everyone can find

That one special person

I know that I will be loved

And healed

When this person

Finds me

So no

I know we're not made

To live our lives alone

I know that everybody

Has that one special person

That will

Always love them

And be there for them

I just hope

I can find that person

Before it's too late

That Day Never Came

The rain that falls

Splatters my window

But I can't hear it

This house I live in

Is empty

You've told me

That I am fixed

But I don't believe you

I still feel

Like I'm broken

I feed myself lies

I say I'm cool

But I'm not

I'm not fine either

I may be a jerk

Maybe it will be okay

One day

That day will never come

I don't plan on letting go

I shall continue

To hang on

They tell me

That time heals the pain

I guess I'll be waiting forever

That day never came

The screams that I have in my mind

Are a secret

Well

Not anymore

I've seen many doctors

Healers

And psychics

Not to mention all your

Broken promises

But they never help

That day will never come

For me

I will never heal

I will always

Be looking for

A way to put

All the pieces

Of me back together

But I will never find it

Lebewohl Mein Liebe

Ich weiss nicht

Wenn du weisst

Ich kann nicht

Seien du mit

Wegen mein Herz

Es ist zerschlagen

Mehr dann du denk

Ich wird immer

Liebe dich

Egal was geschieht

Du wird immer

Hab einen Platz

In mein Herz

Es war nicht du

Es war jemand

Bevor Sie

Er brach mich

Bis ich war

 Fast nichts

Ich weiss

Sie tun können

Besser ist als mich

Und ich weiss

Du weiss diese

Ich will nur

Sie glücklich zu sein

Sie können nicht

Dies zu erreichen

Wenn du bist mit mir

this is my first German poem and I really don't remember what it says
and sorry if the German translation is a bit off 

My Soul, Other Half, and Best Friend

You and me
Me and you
We've always
been together
You're my other half
I'm not complete
without you
You're there for me
when I need you most

Ever since we were
born
we've been stuck together
We fight
and then all's good
You're my best friend
Nothing can change that

dedicated to Bill and Tom Kaulitz

Happy 22nd birthday! 

Dharma

You think I hate you

but I don't

I just love

picking on you

That's what

I'm here for

You'll always

be my little sister

Nothing can change

that

I taunt and tease

but I don't try

to hurt you

I don't pay attention

to you

but I don't not care

You're my sister

It's what I'm supposed to do

That's my job

this poem was written for my little sister, Dharma

Nothing Left of Us

You're the one

that lost faith in me

That left me here

Lost me

I thought you were

the one to love me

I thought you could save me

I was wrong

You abandoned me

Now you're nothing more

than a memory

Now you've gone away

Never coming back

What was left of us

is in the past

Long forgotten

And now you're just

one of my illusions

I kept trying to hold on

Wanting you to take me back

I called

I wrote

But you never answered

or replied

Then I saw you with her

I knew you were gone

Now I want you back

but I need to move on

Maybe I should've

thought twice about you

Good-bye

My Afgan

Some people here

Take for granted

That they can

Visit their grandmother

Anytime they want

Just before the

Holidays

I hear people saying

That they'll be going to

Their grandparents' house

Then they roll their eyes

I look at them in

Envy

The last time

I saw my grandma

Was in 2007

I used to see her

All the time

Not too long ago

She sent me an afgan

Everytime I use it

I feel her near

I know she's close to me

Despite the distance

Please Come Back

You've left me here

In this lonely house

I know

You'll be back

But how long

Will it be?

You come and go

And I can't help

But wonder

What you're doing

And who you're

Doing it with

I miss you

And want you

To know

That I love you

I want you to

Come back to me

As soon as

You can

Shooting Star

I lie here

On the grass

Wondering

How many

People are

Doing what

I am

I wonder

If they're

Waiting on

A shooting star

To come

I wonder

If my star

Will ever

Come

Or are my dreams

To fade to nothing?

Break Away

Go ahead

Walk away

I don't

Need you

You're just

A burden

All you do

Is pull me

Down

You can't

Keep me

Here

I'll

Break away

Rescue Me

I sit here

In the darkness

You've left me

This was our

Special place

That one place

We could escape it all

Now as I see our names

On every wall

I feel like you haunt

My every thought

Every movement

You left me here

To burn with

Every memory

You had of us

As these walls

Get closer

My senses fade

You lied me

You crying was always fake

You never loved me

I"m beginning to realize

You're never coming back

But I still reach to touch

Your face

You're not here

Are you here?

What happened to us?

this poem was inspired by the song Rescue Me by Tokio Hotel... so no plagerism

Untitled 4

Another day

Passes by

And yet

We're still

Hanging on

I know you

Try to keep going

Don't worry

I'll help you through it

Remember

I am always here

You will never be alone

We'll make it through

The storm

Together

I know what you are going through

I've seen just as much

As you

I understand

What it's like to be

Heart broken

You try to push everything

Everyone you love

Away

Believe me

It never works

I've tried

I'm Different

I stand out

I'm a freak

In their eyes

They think

Of me as an alien

Or something that

Doesn't belong

I will never

Be like them

I will never

Fit in

I'm a

Freak of nature

Caught in a place

I will never belong to

Something I Go On For

Sometimes I

Want to end it all

Just wanting

To die

Then I remember

All the things

I hold on for

My sister

My dreams

Music

The hope

That my one true love

Will find me

Those

Are just

Some of

The things

I keep holding on for

Something to Live For

People think

I have it all

But I truly

Don't

I need something

To live for

Something

Precious

Like an unborn

Child

At the moment

I have nothing

To live for

I need something

That I can live

For

So I don't kill

Myself

Hopeless

I've never

Felt this alone

Even my family

Thinks I'm

Hopeless

Even I

Thnk

I'm

Hopeless

There's

No denying

There is

Nothing

For a

Hopeless

Girl

Keep Holding On

I've tried many times

To let him go

But never have

I succeeded

All the times

He's broken

My heart

No matter

How many times

I've told myself

I'll never let

Him get to me

I still do

My mind

Says to

Forget him

My heart is

Saying

Don't let go

I guess for now

I'll keep holding on

Loneliness is Back

I thought

Loneliness

Had left

It was

No longer

My

Friend

That's what

I get for

Thinking

Loneliness

Is back

Once again

Loneliness

Is my friend

More like

My sister now

And for once

I'm okay with

That

Lost Him

Who I thought

Would be

The one

Has broken

Me

I thought

He was the one

That he would

Never give up

On me

He proved

Me wrong

He gave up

On me

Sooner than

I thought

This Gift

The pain still comes

Maybe just once more

It makes everything better

I'm never coming back

The light hurts

My eyes

I have not slept

In days

I see

Death

Not far from me

They told me

That this gift

Would help me

That I could fly

All I had to do

Was close my eyes

And take it

Now I'm on the border

Of life

And death

This gift has

Helped me

These scars

Will probably

Stay

But I don't care

Anything

To make the moment feel

Better

I close the door

And take more

And more

It's so addicting

It helps me

Maybe once more

Just once more

Now it hurts more

Another take

The last one

My last wish

Remains unknown

This poem isn't about any addiction I have... I promise... it was inspired by the song On The Edge by Tokio Hotel

Back to My Darkest Days

I promised myself

I would never

Go back to

The dark days

I told myself

I would never

Be broken

Again

I feel

More alone

Now

Than I did

Then

Welcome back

My darkest

Days

Untitled 3

To believe in me is hard

To find someone

Who cares is even harder

As I let my life

Pass me by

I wonder if I was really meant

To find love

I've tried and tried

But he's never there

I've looked and looked

But haven't found him

My one and only

Doesn't know

I exist

I love him too much

Sometimes

His smile is all I have

To keep me here

Broken

I"ve lost him

I had to let

Him go

Now

I feel so

Empty

I can't pay

Attention

What have I done?

What did I do?

I've broken myself

How could I?

My heart is worse

Than what it was

Then again

I'm no stranger

To heart break

To being broken

Being this way

Doesn't surprise me

Always With You

Tsunamis

Earthquakes

And other natural disasters

Hit the homeland

People dying 

And turning up dead

I worry

And fear

For those

I love

And I cry

Tears of sadness

For those

I don't know

I hope things

Get better

For Japan

And all the neighboring

Countries

That have been hit

With natural disasters

I keep them with me

In my heart

Japan

Know that I will always

Be thinking of you

Everything you have gone through

In the past few days

Konw that I will

Always be with you

Know that I will

Always remember

The 11th day of March, 2011

Gemini Dream

I know

Some people have dreams

But do they know

It will come true

I also have a dream

It's not like

Everyone else's

Dream

My dream is a

Gemini dream

Gemini dreams

Are bound to

Come true

I could tell you

My Gemini dreambut

You would think

I'm completely out of

My mind

For wishing such

A thing

What If

What if I had never

Known about you

Would I be

The girl I am now

If I'd never read

If you had never

Walked into my life

Would I find that connection

I"ll never know

Nothing will change

What if I had

Known about you
So long ago
Would I still have
My love for you
If I could go back
If you had been
There for me then
Would I be different
I guess I'll
Never find found
Nothing will change

What if I had never
Let you into my heart
Would I still love
Him
Or you
Could we have a chance
Would we meet someday
Will I still know
Who I am
Today
Somethings will
Never change

What if I had never
Saw you
Would I have fallen
For you
If I had not thought
Of you
The first time
Would you be
The one
That keeps my heart
I guess I"ll
Never know
Nothing can change
What has past

Little Android

What are you doing

so far from home

Where is it

you metal heart wanders

Could it be

on a distant planet

unknown to human kind

Or is it closer than I think

Could it be you mislead me

with just your appearance

I know your home is somewhere

because your eyes

take me there

Let me follow you

back home

I want to meet

your people

And hear the many stories

you have

Learn all your

cultures

Please let me come

with you

Little Android

Because I'm a girl

I've been

told a boy

can leave

You in the

Cold

Become sick of

You and bored

I wish he'd

told me the

Truth

that I wasn't 

the girl for him

But I still

don't have a

Clue

I will always

have love for him

Because I am a

Girl

and nothing

Shall change

That

This poem and the five posted before it were written long before the next poems (in 2008)

My World

I see people living in peace

Everyone is happy in my world

Everyone but is happy in my world

How can you tell I am sad

That remains a mystery

My life is different to others'

But I live with my depression

This is my world

My Unknown Tears

Most of

my time

Is spent

in tears

Why some

may ask

It's because of

An

Unknown reason

When I'm

not crying

I think

about it

My life

is silent

for no

reason at all

My jewellry

is just part of

A costume

Under the costume

There is pain

Depression

And a broken

heart

My tears are

falling for an

unknown reason

I'm forever

broken and

Never healed

My Unfallen Tears

I can no longer cry

My tears gone

The only thing I have left is

My pride

Very sad, yes

But very true

My life is still

Silent

My eyes

They fill with tears

That never fall

The only way for expressing

My sadness is through poetry

Half of my time is spent

Reading

My life is silent forever

My heart broken

Until the end of my time!

My Untold Truth

I walk by them

But they only see what's on the outside

My past is difficult to understand

So is my heart
No one can see the truth underneath it all
I have so much to say
So much to tell
But no one will listen

There is an untold truth about me
And my past
I wish everyone will see the
Untold truth tgat I hold within me
That is my wish to the world

The Wedding Poem

If I could

Spend the rest of my life

With anyone of my choice

I would choose you

Now as I the days pass me by

I've never felt so elated

I don't think I ever will again

And you're to blame

Thank you

Don't Let Me Jump

I stand here

Upon this ledge

I can see it all

From here

I wonder if

You know I am here

I wonder if

You care

I wonder if

I will be missed

I've seen so much

Heard so many lies

You have broken me

You never told me

Why you left

And if I could have one thing

One wish

I'd wish for you to

Tell me

'Don't leave'

Don't let me jump

You changed me

Believed in me

Told me I could

Accomplish so much

Then you broke all my

Dreams

Not so long ago

I thought you were

The one

That it was you

Who could make

All my dreams

Come true

I'll still love you

Even when I'm gone

If only you

Would come and

Tell me

I'm still

Your only one

That I'm the only

One that can

Hold your heart

Instead

You used my heart

And it broke

Now I'm standing here

About to let it go

If only you were here

Now

As I take in

My last view

Of the city below

I fear that you

Had never really cared

The eyes of the city

Help me

To have courage

A person now

Screams my name

I don't know them

I don't think

Behind me

I hear the person

Telling me something

That you should be saying

To me

'Don't go

Many will miss you'

He tells me

All will be well

He's doing something

You never will do

He's not letting

Me jump

One Heart

One heart

Sinks

To the bottom

One heart

Left alone

To suffer

One heart

Left to die

Without

Its one and only

One heart

Forever

Lost in the crowd

Of many

One heart

Waits

For true love

To find it

One heart

Forever

Forgotten

One heart

Never to find

Love

One heart

Forever

Roaming alone

One heart

Always breaking

Never fixed

My heart

Lost without

Yours

Karma

Be careful

Of what you

Do

It may all

Come back on

You

Watch what

You say about

Me

For one day

You will get the

Worst

One day

Karma will

Come back

To you

You will

Regret

What you have

Done to me

I will be more

Than what

You thought

I'd be

Karma will

Change your

Life

Twin

You walked into

My life

Unexpected

I didn't know

You and yet

You were

There

Over time

You became

My friend

I don't know

How you

Did it

But you've

Pulled me through

I don't think

I could be closer

To anyone

As I have been

Close to you

You are my twin

My other half

It was pure

Luck

I found you

His Sweet Name

My heart

Belongs to

Only one

He just

Doesn't know

Who I am

It's hard

Loving someone

Who doesn't know

You even exist

I scratch

His sweet name

Into my skin

I can't help it

It's the only thing

I have of him

That keeps me

Sane

Untitled 2

There are only a

Select few people

Who can get 

Me breathing

Heavily

One of those

People I've

Never even

Met

Everytime

I see him or

Hear his name

My chest swells

My heart flutters and

It's hard for me

To breathe

His voice soothes

My anger

His face is like

Nothing

I've ever seen

What I Can't Have

The tears

Roll down

My cheeks

As I look

At your

Picture

You mean

The world

To me

Though we've

Never met

I've always

Seen you for

What you are

A loving, caring

Guy

Whether you

Know it or not

I love you,

Stranger

You are

What I cannot

Have

I Hate Myself

I've been

Told

That I am

A very unique

Person

Some have

Even told

Me that

I'm also

Interesting

To tell you

The truth

I hate the

Way I am

The way

I look

The way I

Think

I hate it

The only

Thing I love

About myself

Is my eyes and

My hair

Plus my

Love for

Music

Other than

That

I hate myself

Smiles and Sufferings

For years

I have always

Made people happy

I enjoy seeing

Others smile

While I

Stay pained

That's my

Motto

Let others

Smile

And let

Me suffer

I've been

Like that

For three years

Like I've said

I love it when

People smile or

Are happy

To My Brother

You're the brother

I never had

Nothing like I've

Ever known

I have to say

Thank you

Even when I'm

Down

You always

Seem to get

Me to laugh

I don't know

What I'd do

Without you

Again

Thank you

For brightening

Every day

My Passion and My Love

If I ever

Had to choose

Between my love

And my passion

I couldn't choose

It would be a

Hard decision

This is because

My love is music

And my passion

Is also music

Music has been there

For me when

No one else was

Music has saved

My life

If it wasn't for

Music

I wouldn't be here

Over the years

My love for

Music has increased

Forever Together

We've been through

it all

We've both seen

heartbreaks

We've been through

tears of joy

and sorrow

We've laughed and cried

together

We've had fights

but never have

we stayed angry at

each other

for long

I would do anything

for you

So we must

go through

every monsoon

to be together

And never

look back

We must endure

the pain

that comes

Happiness

Joy

Love

Pain

Hate

We'll see

it all

Forever Together

We've been through

It all

We've seen heartbreaks

We've been through

Tears of joy

And sorrow

We've laughed and cried

Together

We've had fights

But never have

We been angry at 

Each other

For long

I don't believe

We will ever

Be separated

No matter what

I would do anything

For you

Und wir mussen 

den Monsun durchlaufen