What Happened?

I feel you slipping away

We never talk

I feel so alone without you

I wish I could

help you to understand

this

I understand

we're just friends

But right now

I don't know if

we're even that

I've only known you

but a short while

But I felt close to you

Now

I feel like we're

complete stangers

I don't want us

to be like this

I don't want

to lose your friendship

But maybe

I deserve to

Russian Roulette

I've got a gun to my head

I've considered this many times

I have no body now

Not even my family

What if I played

Russian roulette

by my self?

What are the chances 

that someone will hear

the gunshot?

What if I pulled the trigger?

Would my brains splatter

against the wall?

Or would nothing happen?

I guess the odds are

stacked against me

Or maybe for me

My family would greet me

at the "gates,"

right?

Or maybe I'll go to Hell

for what I've done

All the horror I've made

All the pain I've caused

Just so everyone knows, I was quite upset the day I wrote this. I wasn't contemplating suicide. Not at that moment, anyway. I'd actually been listening to Death to Your Heart by Blood on the Dance Floor and felt the need to write a poem with the first line of the song. So, no, not suicide. Just music.

You're Everything I Can't Have

I love you

You know I do

I know we should just be friends

I should learn to accept that

But I can't

You mean the world to me

You are

the only person

I actually care about

Outside my family

of course

The days I wish

I could be her

are the days I wish

I didn't exist

or I'd never met you

But then again

it doesn't matter

Does it?

I'm a no body

and you're practically a star

You're everything

I wish I could have

and what I want to be

Yin or Yang

Some people see

me as an angel

I believe

I'm more like a demon

I'm an annoyance

in my own head

I hate what I've become

A Hellish fiend

Servant and slave

for all that's evil

There are days where

I wonder what it is

that brought me

to become such a

pernicious person

But then again

according to most people

I'm a sweet person

Kind

As if I were from heaven

 

The question is

am I a demon

from the pits of Hell?

Or am I an angel

from the heavens above?

Pariah

What a shame

She's so broken

From all the loneliness

Within her heart

It's such a shame

No one knows her

She's such a sweet girl

But yet so solitary

How does she keep a smile?

Why does she look so happy?

She has no one near her

Maybe that's the way she likes it

It's a pity

Such a wonderful girl

Never loved

Always abused

Outcasted

It's such a shame

The everyone

judges a life they can't change

Hidden Rebel

You think I'm an angel

But, boy,

are you fooled

I'm not the girl

you think I am

I'm so much more

than what you think

I am a hidden rebel

just waiting to come out

You watch

your time will come

Endless Pain

I've always feared

that I will never find love

that I'll always be alone

You've always had the love

I've wanted

Endlessly loving another

My pain is here

The pain is strong

Your urges rise

Your pain is gone

But my hands are tied

with it

I'd rather lie awake

at night with pain

Than sleep tightly

with dreams of finding love

then waking up to find it

untrue and unreal

My mind is far away

Though I maybe

physically near

This poem is a found poem. Long story short, I had to write a found poem for English class and decided to use one I'd already written. This poem is just one I wrote anyway.